yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize