i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
