he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize