I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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