I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
