theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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