The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just google imaged poop.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize