Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
