If that was your dad, he is hot
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
