hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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