$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
