The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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