I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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