you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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