if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
