in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
