discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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