Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
