I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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