Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
ugly people sure do ruin things
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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