brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Randomize
