dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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