$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
