false alarm. still invincible.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
