i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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