He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
