I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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