how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
