I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
