Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm having to shit out rocks
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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