dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
