where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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