are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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