Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
