we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
