Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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