yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
