I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
