apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
