I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Randomize
