just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
