new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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