She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
