It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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