i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
