...so i touched it.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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