His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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