She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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