almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
