Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
