Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Shame - the story of my life.
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