Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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