you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
