I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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