i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
