I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
