I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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