They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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