Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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