Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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