You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize