I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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