i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
