I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize