a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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